Our son gets married today. Our only boy. To the girl of his dreams. All of our dreams really. And the extra beauty of it all is it’s Mothers Day. Could there possibly be a better way to spend Mother’s Day? Gaining a daughter? The one you’ve prayed for since the day you found out you were carrying him? I think not!
It’s also a redeeming of this tough day for me. When you’ve lost your own Mama, these days are appreciated in a different way. It’s so sweet to be honored as a Mama by my four, who today grow to six. But there’s a melancholy that tries to hang around many years when a piece of your puzzle is missing, and that happens to be your own Mama.
God has been all about His loving, redeeming and layering grace upon these moments for 8 years now. 5 years ago is was the gift of a bonus mom. Today it’s the gift of our fourth daughter.
Last year I shared this post and prayer for those of us who don’t always look forward to Mother’s Day as we would hope. Today seems a perfect day to share it again. Today I get to be fully present in this gift that God has graced my family with for the rest of our days. Today’s tears will be ones of joy. And mixed in with that joy will be silent prayers for this tribe of us who are missing someone today…..
Surviving Mother’s Day when a piece of your puzzle is missing
Originally published Mother’s Day 2016
And in the back of my mind, I’ve been pondering and praying for those who have been dreading Mother’s Day. Those who really are not up for brunch, or church or a gathering of any sort. And those who have no idea how to even muster the strength or courage to get out of the house at all. Or the bed, for that matter.
These holidays can be special and it’s always good to recognize the impact of others on our lives. And yet, there’s so much anticipation and even hype it becomes even harder for those of us who feel like a piece of our puzzle is missing.
For me, it’s my Mama. It’s our seventh Mother’s Day without her. We have always recognized the day in some way, though often not with extravagant gifts, that’s just not who we are. Some years were given more attention than others. But, not being able to see her or send a card on this one day with so much focus on Moms has been tough. The grief has eased in unexpected ways and yet there are still those raw moments that hit out of nowhere.
I don’t know your story, but I’ve brushed shoulders with enough people to know that those of us who feel like pieces of our puzzle are missing tend to outnumber those who don’t. Perhaps, like me, you’ve lost your Mama physically.
Perhaps it’s the first year that you won’t be gathering at the same table for a special dinner because of a big move. Or maybe your relationship with your Mom has never been what you had hoped or needed.
Perhaps it’s a sister that you are grieving. One who was taken too early, or is somehow unreachable.
Perhaps it’s a child. One who was gone long before their time. Or one whom for one reason or another, you’ve never even met. Or one that you have not seen or spoken to for years.
Perhaps it’s the yet to be realized hope of marriage and children. And the waiting just feels unbearable.
I don’t know your story, but I do know that for many of us this day is far from perfect.
I do know that grieving is tough.
I do know that the years can somehow soften grief a bit .
I do know that the deepest of friendships can come from walking through loss with kindred souls.
I do know that somehow intentional gratitude can help lighten the weight.
I do know that I have been and will continue praying for those who are feeling a bit lost as Mother’s Day approaches.
I do know that God is my dwelling place. That His arms hold me. And that beyond the shadow of a doubt, He will never leave.
I pray that you may find peace and comfort even in the very midst of your missing puzzle pieces.